March from Velis Vel

The joke is buried in the source material: Velis Vel is a shapeshifter enclave, and this reaches back to that lore by turning your lands into shapeshifters. Mechanically it splices two effects that rarely share a card: land-type mass selection (in the tradition of Standardize and older tribal-land tech) and creature cloning. Choose a nonbasic land type, target a creature you control, and every land of that type across your board becomes a copy of that creature with haste until end of turn. What balances it is how narrowly it rewards manabase commitment: a board built around one shared land type spins up a dozen copies, while a scattered mana base gives you almost nothing to convert. The haste clause lets those transformed lands swing the turn they change rather than reverting at cleanup without ever attacking, and flashback means the effect survives a board wipe and returns for a second alpha strike. It asks you to warp your lands before it ever hits the table: you want a critical mass of the chosen type and a creature worth stamping onto every body. Point it at something with an attack trigger or a death trigger and each copy inherits those too, which is where the ceiling lives (though the transformation ends at cleanup, and a wrath resolved after your lands have turned wipes out a chunk of your manabase along with the rest). Demanding, almost entirely reliant on the deck built around it, but the effect it produces has next to no functional analog.