Wizened Mentor

A tribute-collector that taxes an interaction most players forget is even happening: not spells, not attacks, but the quiet activated abilities that opponents lean on to build value. Every planeswalker loyalty ability, every equip cost, every tap-for-effect creature, every permanent activation that isn't a mana ability hands you a body. The governor is the "only once each turn" clause, which caps the trigger at a single token per player-turn rather than per activation: a busy opponent firing three abilities in one turn still gives you exactly one Zombie. But the ceiling is set by the number of turns, not the activation count, so across a full multiplayer table the trigger can fire on your turn and on each opponent's turn in the same rotation, quietly accumulating several bodies per turn cycle. That restraint reframes how the card is meant to be read: this is not a stax piece that stops anyone from doing anything; it turns other people's engines into your board. The design sits in a small lineage of white and Orzhov "punish the opponent's ordinary play" effects, but where most of those tax spellcasting, this one aims squarely at the activated-ability economy that defines value-oriented multiplayer decks. Against a table full of loyalty ticks and permanent-based loops, the trigger rarely goes unfed; the floor is a 2/2 that does nothing in a durdle-free mirror, and the gap between those two outcomes is entirely a function of who you sit down across from.