Vorpal Sword

The joke is the payload, and the payload is expensive. Deathtouch on a one-mana Equipment with a cheap equip cost is already a functional playing card: it turns any body into a lethal blocker and makes trades favorable, and that half of the card would justify the slot on its own. But the name promises decapitation, so the design buries an instant-win button eight mana deep. Paying to grant the "loses the game" clause is not a combo enabler in any efficient sense; it is a ceremony, a way to end a game you are already winning with a flourish that matches the source material. The steep, triple-black activation exists precisely so the loss trigger never becomes a real plan: you need a creature already connecting, a whole extra turn's worth of mana, and combat damage to actually land, which deathtouch does nothing to force through. What makes the card cohere is that its two halves answer different appetites. The cheap deathtouch grant is for anyone who wants a serviceable weapon; the activated clause is for the table that wants the vorpal blade to go snicker-snack. That the flavor and the function live at opposite ends of the mana curve is the whole design: a competent early-game tool wearing a mythical finisher as costume.