Tourach, Dread Cantor

Hand-attack decks have always struggled to close: every Thoughtseize and Inquisition of Kozilek trades one-for-one, then the pilot is left holding a stripped-down board with nothing to press an empty hand into. This card answers that structural gap by turning disruption into a growing clock. Kicked, it arrives as its own hand attack, forcing a random pitch of two on entry, so a single cast does interaction and threat at once. From there the counters compound: any time an opponent loses a card from hand (your Duress effects, the two random cards from the kick, but also their own looting, cycling, or a discard to hand size) the body grows. Note the trigger reads opponents, not you, so nothing you discard feeds it, while a wide swath of what the other seat does will. Then there is the color word to consider. The premium removal most likely to erase a fragile black two-drop (Swords to Plowshares, Path to Exile, and the white targeted-removal toolbox around them) simply cannot touch it, and white creatures cannot block it either. That combination is unusual for black, which rarely gets a proactive, evasive, self-growing threat this cheaply, rarer still one that converts its own worst tempo problem (the inert one-for-one) into inevitability. Folding the disruption and the win condition into one legendary body is what lets the plan cohere rather than merely rhyme.