River's Rebuke
A one-sided sweep dressed up as a bounce spell: every nonland permanent one player controls gets shipped back to hand, and the asymmetry is the whole pitch. The price is tempo, not cards. The opponent keeps everything and can recast it, so this does not answer a threat so much as delay it, and the value of the swing depends entirely on what you do with the turn you buy. Against a developed board with heavy sunk mana (expensive permanents, a wide token army, a creature wearing multiple auras that must all be recast and re-attached), it strands resources and unwinds whole turns of setup. Against a low-curve deck holding cheap threats, it reads as little more than an expensive Time Walk, since the opponent redeploys and any beneficial enters-the-battlefield triggers simply fire again for them. That is the honest ceiling on the effect: it never removes a card, it only resets the clock. The sorcery speed is the load-bearing constraint. If this snapped off at instant speed in response to an alpha strike or a combat step, it would warp far more games than it does; as written, it forces you to commit before you know the opponent's next draw, and rewards the player who can convert one open swing into lethal or a lock. Single-target mass bounce is what blue reaches for when it wants to buy a decisive turn without pretending it has solved anything permanently, and this is that reach at its most sweeping.





