Preacher of the Schism

The genius here is that both triggers are tethered to the same act (attacking) yet read completely different fields: one checks whether the defending player holds the most life, the other whether you do. Swing at the opponent sitting highest and you spin off a lifelinking Vampire; swing while you sit highest and you draw a card at the cost of a point. When you are behind, the token trigger plugs the leak and helps you climb back toward parity; once you have climbed there, the card-draw trigger takes over and gently bleeds you back down. The card self-corrects across the arc of a game rather than doing one fixed thing. And because each condition includes "or tied for most life," the two are not exclusive: be tied for most life while attacking a player also tied for most life and both fire off the same swing, a token and a card in a single combat step. That overlap is the reward for reading the life totals precisely rather than approximately. Deathtouch on a 2/4 is what keeps the engine running: attack into any respectable blocker and the exchange goes your way, so the triggers keep resolving turn after turn instead of dying on the first swing back. Neither ability is unconditional, which means the card punishes the player who attacks on autopilot and pays the one tracking the whole table's life totals as they shift each turn.