Nuka-Nuke Launcher
Most Equipment sells a body: a bigger swing, evasion, a weapon that makes the creature dangerous. This one sells a debuff, and the debuff lands on the person you attack. The +3/+0 and intimidate are the delivery system, the part that widens the window so the equipped creature can actually swing in; the payload is the attack trigger itself, which fires the moment attackers are declared and taxes the defending player two rad counters for every spell they cast through their entire next turn. That reframes the equip from an aggressive tool into a punisher of interaction. A control player who wants to answer your board, cantrip, or hold up a counter is now feeding themselves rad counters two at a time, and rad counters are their own accumulating clock: they mill and then bite when the poisoned cards flip. The intimidate matters because it keeps the creature attacking turn after turn rather than chump-blocked into irrelevance, and the equip cost is the brake that stops you from cheaply reassigning the tax at will. This is one of the few Equipment where the equipped creature is nearly beside the point: you strap the launcher to whatever body can keep declaring attacks, because the thing that wins is the tax on the opponent's spells, not the three extra power riding into combat.



