Nezumi Bladeblesser

A conditional keyword grid dressed up as a beater. The 3/2 body is fixed, but both upgrades key off permanent types a black artifacts-and-enchantments shell already runs for other reasons, which is the point: the value lives in the text, not in the Rat. Deathtouch turns the body into a blocker nobody wants to trade with, and it makes attacking brutal math, since any lone blocker dies to it. Menace narrows the answers further: the creature can't be blocked at all except by two or more, so the opponent must commit a pair or eat the damage. Stack both and the choice gets ugly. Block with two, and deathtouch means three power kills both: assign one lethal point to the first blocker, two to the second, and the pair dies to a three-mana body. That is far more pressure than the rate suggests. The catch is that both keywords are continuous effects contingent on what else you control: lose the artifact and deathtouch evaporates mid-combat, lose the enchantment and menace goes with it, so the threat is only as reliable as the permanents propping it up. It belongs to a long line of black creatures whose stat line is deliberately unremarkable so the conditional text can carry the value, a design that hands the deckbuilder a lever rather than a finished threat.