Life of the Party
The joke lands before the math does: a 0/1 that hands every opponent a copy of itself, then goads those copies into swinging at everyone but you. The entry clause is a political grenade dressed as a party favor, turning a table's threat assessment inside out by giving each opponent the same body and forcing it away from its maker. But the engine is the attack trigger, which counts the creatures you control. Those copies sit on opposing boards under opposing control, so they do the political work, not the anthem work: the boost comes from your own side, which is why this wants a go-wide red shell that can stack the token count high enough for first strike and trample to convert the swing directly into damage. Haste closes the gap between resolving it and cashing in, so it does not linger as a fragile 0/1 waiting to be answered. The self-replicating goad reframes what looks like a generic anthem-on-attack creature: the design accepts giving opponents free bodies precisely because goad reweaponizes them against their new controllers, converting a symmetrical handout into a directional one. The cost is that opponents keep their copies permanently, so the pressure compounds across the table; the reward is a board where the parties you did not throw are aimed anywhere but at you.
