Karazikar, the Eye Tyrant
Most political cards reward the table for fighting; this one reengineers the physics of a multiplayer combat step so everyone else's attacks bleed into your hand. The first ability is the enforcement arm: every time you swing at a player, you tap and goad one of their creatures, compelling it to attack elsewhere on its controller's next turn. That is coercion, not persuasion. The draw-and-drain trigger is where the design turns predatory. Whenever an opponent attacks another opponent (something the goading actively manufactures), you and that attacker each draw a card and lose 1 life. The life you spend matters less than it looks: the goaded player was forced into the swing, so the card and the point of life they lose are compulsory, while yours are the price of admission to a war you started and pointed away from yourself. The genius is the closed loop between the two triggers: the tap-and-goad half generates the exact events the draw half taxes, meaning the engine does not sit idle waiting for aggression to happen. It creates the aggression, aims it, and skims off the top. A 5/5 for five is a reasonable clock, but the body is almost incidental; the real threat is that it makes doing nothing to you the only losing line, then charges the table (and, modestly, itself) for the fights it forced.
