Jumbo Cactuar

A 1/7 for seven mana is, on paper, a wall: it holds a ground stall well and does almost nothing else, right up until the moment it turns sideways. Then the attack trigger fires and the power jumps by 9999 for one swing, converting an inert defensive body into a single lethal punch. The number is not arbitrary. The source material's Cactuar always dealt exactly 1,000 damage with its signature move, and the design scales that gag up an order of magnitude, then names the trigger 10,000 Needles as pure flavor: a thematic label bolted onto an ordinary attack-trigger pump, with no rules weight of its own. The catch is structural. All of the payoff lives in that trigger, so the plant only matters when it connects, and a 1/7 attacker is trivially chump-blocked. That forces every deck that wants the number to solve one problem before anything else: trample, evasion, or some way to force the swing through. On its own it is a defender that happens to end games the instant it slips past a blocker. Everything decisive happens in the sliver of combat after attackers are declared and before blocks resolve; the seven-mana cost and the flat base stats are what keep a one-punch kill from doubling as a threat you can leave unattended.