Doorkeeper Thrull

The static half of Torpor Orb, stapled to an evasive body and dropped in at instant speed. The whole point is the third line: enters-the-battlefield triggers, the engine that a huge slice of creature and artifact value decks are built on, simply do not happen while this is around. That is a symmetrical hoser, which makes it a strange thing to hang on a 1/2 flyer that pays no such tax on activated or attack triggers, only on the ETB (and artifact-entering) triggers both players share. The flash is what gives it teeth: rather than telegraphing the lock a turn early where it can be answered on the draw, you leave the mana up and drop it in before the opponent commits their creature or artifact, so the trigger that would have resolved never gets to. It is a policy card wearing a creature's clothes, and the design tension is right there in the cost of building around it: you either run a deck that leans on attacks and activations instead of enters-the-battlefield value, or you accept that your own blink and reanimation lines go dark for as long as it lives. A hatebear whose hate is broad enough to catch its own controller if you are not careful about what you play alongside it.