Cruel Somnophage // Can't Wake Up

A / whose size is a running census of every creature card in every graveyard is a threat that gets other players' decks to build it for you. Opposing removal, opposing self-mill, combat trades on the far side of the board: each one that buries a creature adds a point of power and toughness, so the longer a game grinds the harder this hits, regardless of whose creatures are dying. Rushed out with nothing in any yard, it is a 0/0 that dies before it does anything, which is why the sorcery half exists at all: Can't Wake Up mills four to prime the count before the creature is worth paying for, and because it can target any player, it fills an opponent's yard just as happily as your own, quietly padding your future body while it digs. The two casts feed each other from opposite ends of the game: one seeds the graveyards, the other cashes in the total. Whatever creatures the first spell buries directly enlarge the second, and the exile-and-recast structure enforces the sequence, so you spend the mill early and collect the payoff once the count has grown. It is a graveyard-density threat that ships with its own setup spell, and the barrenness of the early turns is exactly the tax that keeps a two-mana body this scalable in check.