Convert to Slime

Golgari has spent years chasing the clean three-for-one, and the usual price is that flexibility comes cheap while payoff comes not at all: Maelstrom Pulse and its descendants hit one thing, Casualties of War hits five but costs seven. This one splits the difference by charging in outcomes rather than mana. The three destroy clauses each say "up to one," so the spell contracts to a single kill when that is all the board offers and expands to a three-type sweep when it does not. The delirium payoff is where the design earns its keep: the Ooze is not a fixed token but a mirror of what you just killed, its size equal to the summed mana value of everything the spell destroyed. Wipe out a colossal artifact, a fatty, and an expensive enchantment, and you replace three of an opponent's best permanents with one green body as large as all of them combined. That inversion runs the whole design: the more valuable their board, the larger your reward. Delirium is the toll, demanding four card types in the graveyard before the token materializes at all. Miss the count and the spell is still a clean cumulative destroy effect, capable of picking off one permanent or three in a single cast; hit it, and a defensive answer becomes an offensive swing without a second card.