Chef's Kiss

Theft-and-fizzle is an old red trick, but this one converts an opponent's removal spell into two coin flips instead of a redirect to a fixed target. Rather than countering the spell or aiming it somewhere useful, it seizes control, forks it into a copy, and scatters every target at random across the legal options, barred only from you and your permanents. That reselection is where the card earns its keep: the new targets can't hit your side, so an incoming threat becomes pure chaos that only ever lands elsewhere. Against a Doom Blade pointed at your creature, you save the creature and fire the kill spell (twice) into someone else's ranks, into any other legal target, wherever the dice fall. The single-target restriction is the price of admission, and it is stricter than it first reads: the spell must target exactly one permanent or player, which rules out sweepers and multi-target burn, and also rules out counterspells, since a spell on the stack is neither a permanent nor a player and cannot be targeted here at all. What roots it in red's steal-your-spell tradition (Redirect, Ricochet Trap, and their kin) is the refusal to hand the caster a clean answer to the fallout: even you don't fully control where the copies go. It is randomness weaponized for defense, three mana that punishes a targeted removal spell by surrendering the whole board to fate.