Bludgeon Brawl

The joke is that everything you weren't planning to swing with becomes a club. A Sol Ring turns into a +1 baton; a Memory Jar becomes a +5 great-axe; a Lotus Petal is a free-equip dagger that does effectively nothing. The design takes the whole population of mana rocks, batteries, and miscellaneous artifact bric-a-brac and reads each one's mana value as both a power bonus and an equip cost, which produces the central tension: the artifacts that hit hardest are also the ones that cost the most to suit up. The cheap rocks make the equip a formality but barely move the needle; the splashy swings come off the expensive pieces, where the equip bill scales right alongside the bonus. Strip that equip- structure out and every Mox and Signet on board would become a free, permanent stat boost the instant the enchantment resolved, warping any artifact shell it touched; the scaling cost is what stops the conversion from being a freeroll. Note that this isn't a tradeoff between mana and beatdown: a Thran Dynamo bolted onto a creature still taps for its three, so the only real cost is the equip mana to relocate it. It is the rare enchantment that doesn't add to your board so much as recontextualize it, converting the inert support pieces of an artifact deck into a latent armory you can mobilize one expensive equip at a time.