You've Been Caught Stealing

A red modal spell dressed as a heist, and the two lines model the two ways a robbery goes sideways: you either jam every door open or you pay off the people watching them. Threaten the Merchant is the aggressive half, forcing each creature to block if able. That is the inverse of a Falter effect: instead of stripping defenders away, it compels them all in, and a board leaning on first strike, deathtouch, or trample punishes the blocks it just mandated. The defending player still assigns their own blockers, so the compulsion is a tax on their creatures rather than a free choice for the attacker; the value comes from forcing bad trades into existence and shoving overflow through a clogged tangle. Bribe the Guards is the payoff clause, minting a Treasure for each opponent already bloodied this turn, which is why timing sits at the center of the design. Fire it before combat and the ramp mode is dead; fire it after damage lands and a successful swing becomes color-fixing acceleration. What carries the card past its rate is that the two modes want opposite sequencing from the same slot: one asks to precede the attack, the other to follow it. It scales from a single-opponent line happy to force clumsy blocks into a punishing board to a table full of bloodied foes, each of whom drops a Treasure into your reserves: a small spell that asks you to read the board twice before you pick a mode.