Xanthic Statue

Eight mana to put it on the table, then five more every turn you actually want it to fight: this is colorless beatdown priced as if mana were a resource you would never run short of. The activation also has to clear before the statue can attack or block, so the eight-mana investment buys nothing the turn it lands, leaving a wide window for opponents to answer the artifact for far less than you paid to make it relevant. The design intent is transparent enough: a colorless finisher any deck could run regardless of color, which was a genuine concern in a five-color world before mana fixing got good. What sinks it is the total absence of resilience for the price. The statue offers no protection, no haste, no card advantage, just an 8/8 trampling body rented one turn at a time, and one that dies to any removal that would catch an ordinary creature, after which the five mana you spent on it vanishes with it. It belongs to a line of build-around colorless beaters, the slower cousin of the giant artifact creatures that came later with abilities actually worth the asking price, that the game's power curve left behind almost immediately. The Golem type and the trample are the only concessions to it ever mattering on the board, and neither does much when the rate is this far underwater.