Writhing Necromass

A cost reducer that pays out only if you've done the work first. The seven-mana printed price is a fiction the deck is expected to erase: every creature card in the graveyard shaves a generic, so the body that arrives late in a slow deck can crash the table early in one that fills its yard aggressively. The design pivot lives in that inversion. Most graveyard payoffs want to reanimate the creatures they've buried or drain life for each one; this one leaves them where they are and simply prices itself off their corpses, turning a stocked graveyard into ramp rather than a resource to spend. The deathtouch is the tax collector on the resulting 5/5: a body this large that trades with anything makes attacking into it a losing proposition and blocking with it a way to eat a threat you could not otherwise contain. It does not solve every problem, mind you: it is a ground creature with no evasion of its own, and a flier or an unblockable threat sails right past it. Nothing about the payoff rewards a clean board, which is the point. It asks for a graveyard already stuffed with dead creatures, then hands you a near-free wall-and-hammer to close on, so the cards that hurt you (self-mill, sacrifice fodder, aggressive early trades) are the same cards that fund it.