Witness Protection

Removal that leaves the body on the board and calls that a feature. For one blue mana, the target keeps breathing but stops mattering: no keywords, no triggered or activated abilities, no relevant creature types for a tribal payoff to see, no stats worth blocking with. That answers a class of threat conventional removal handles poorly. An indestructible creature, a body with death triggers you would rather not feed, a permanent carrying a stack of counters or auras that only matter because of what it does: reducing it to a vanilla 1/1 Citizen dodges every "when this dies" or "can't be destroyed" hedge the opponent built in. It even blanks legendary names that other legends want to see, since the enchanted permanent is renamed Legitimate Businessperson and legally stops being the creature it was. (Being a commander survives this, though; that is a property of the physical card, not a characteristic the Aura can overwrite, so a Witness-Protected general still swings for commander damage as a 1/1.) The tradeoff is that the creature remains a permanent, so a recast, a bounce, or a fresh Aura can undo the work, and against a genuine beater you have downgraded rather than deleted it. Older ability-strippers like Humble and Ovinize shave stats or hobble abilities for a turn; this one rewrites the object wholesale and permanently, so the target is not weakened so much as reassigned a new life.