TVA Bureaucrat

Most evasive-attacker packages split the work across two cards: you resolve a threat, then spend more resources making it connect. This folds both jobs onto one trigger, and points both at itself. Every cantrip, removal spell, or noncreature artifact you were casting anyway quietly turns a 1/3 into something nobody can stand in front of. The +1/+0 is the minor half; "can't be blocked this turn" is the engine, converting a slow drip of noncreature spells into repeated unblocked hits. Stacking is where it gets real: chain three noncreature spells and it swings as a 4/3 with evasion. And because each trigger keys off casting rather than resolution, the buff is banked the moment the spell hits the stack, whether or not that spell ever does anything. The three toughness is the quiet part of the design. It lets the body block early aggression or survive incidental reach before the spell count ramps, so the card earns its slot in the turns before it becomes a clock. What limits the payoff is that everything stays local: this is not a lord handing evasion to a bigger threat, it is a finisher that rewards you only for keeping it alive and keeping the spells flowing. Point a spell-dense shell at it and you have a two-mana attacker that closes on its own, powered by the thing you were doing regardless.