Trusty Machete

The pure rate Equipment, stripped to its smallest expression: one mana down, two to attach, and a +2/+1 buff with no clause to read past it. That asymmetry between the two-to-one stat bump and the single-mana cast cost is the whole pitch. It costs almost nothing to deploy on an empty board and rewards you for keeping a creature alive, the inverse of a one-shot pump spell that vanishes after combat. The +1 to toughness is the quiet part doing real work: it pushes the equipped creature past the bulk of cheap removal and into trades it would lose bare, while the +2 power turns a one-drop into a clock that demands an answer. Equipment that asks no questions and offers no value engine tends to get overlooked next to flashier blades with keyword grants or card draw, but the floor here is exactly the appeal. There is no failure case beyond drawing it with no board, and the equip cost is low enough to move it between creatures as removal trades them off. It belongs to the long line of vanilla-statline Equipment whose entire job is to make small creatures hit like bigger ones, and it does that with the least text any of them carry.