Troublemaker Ouphe

Green has always been the color that unmakes artifacts and enchantments, from Naturalize down through a long line of graveyard-agnostic answers. This design folds that job into a body and gates it behind a cost, so the removal is not a rider you happen to get for playing a creature you wanted anyway; it is the point of the card. Bargain is the toll: the exile trigger only fires if you sacrifice something as you cast the spell, which means clearing an opponent's permanent costs you a permanent of your own. That the fodder clause reaches spare tokens is what keeps the constraint from biting too hard, since a go-wide or sacrifice shell can spend a body it never valued. Skip the bargain and the trigger has nothing to resolve: the ability checks whether the creature was bargained, and without that payment it stays a 2/2 with a dormant clause. That flat floor is deliberate, because the card wants you paying for the disruption rather than backing into it. The choice of exile over destruction is the other quiet virtue, dodging graveyard triggers and recursion the way a straight Naturalize cannot, and the trigger only points at an opponent's board, so a soured plan of your own stays untouched. It is disruption stapled to a warm body, priced in the resource-attrition currency green has always used for its answers.