The Dining Car

Most planes reward you for standing on them; this one puts you on a timer that eats your own board. The Sixty-Six Seconds trigger reframes the plane as a hazard rather than a benefit: every upkeep it claims the smallest creature you control and converts the loss into a Clue, so the plane pays out in card advantage for the price of feeding it bodies. That loop wants a table stocked with expendable tokens, not one prized threat you cannot bear to lose. The chaos clause closes the circuit, dropping the activation cost of your artifact tokens by two whenever a chaos roll fires, so the Clues and Food this plane keeps spinning off become cheaper draws and lifegain in the same turn they were made. The elegant cruelty is the asymmetry at the top: the planeswalk trigger hands every player a Food token, but only the active player stands over the sacrifice-and-investigate machine, so the plane distributes its generosity broadly and its danger to exactly one seat. It leans on the same phase-based inevitability that makes upkeep effects dangerous in ordinary games, then treats a pile of Treasure-adjacent artifact tokens as the reward for surviving your own dining car. Punishment and payout arrive in the same breath, with the planar die deciding how generous the settlement gets.