Tenement Crasher

Haste is the whole argument here: the keyword turns a fresh draw into immediate damage, which is the only thing this 5/4 brings that a vanilla beater of the same rate would not. The body backs that argument weakly. Four toughness means most things in play by the time you cast it can block, trade, or simply survive the hit, so the speed has to outrun whatever defensive profile the opponent has assembled by turn six. This sits in the long red lineage of haste-only fatties: bodies printed to be the last card an aggressive deck wants to topdeck rather than anything to build around. It demands no setup and pays off no synergy; the haste is the entire case for the slot. Plain top-of-curve reach of exactly this shape exists to close games when a deck needs to convert tempo into damage faster than it needs a payoff, and Tenement Crasher lands squarely on the playable-but-replaceable side of that line.