Swab Goblin

A vanilla 2/2 for two in red, built entirely around what its type line says rather than what its rules text does not. The two creature types are the whole point: a Goblin for decks that reward small red bodies, a Pirate for the aggressive seafaring shell that wanted more creatures wearing the right label. Strip those tags and there is nothing left but a body doing exactly what a red two-drop does, which is why the design work here lives above the stats and not in them. It exists to be counted: to give a tribal payoff a legal target and to fill an early turn with something that carries the correct labels while it attacks. That is the honest read on connective tissue like this. The card was never meant to matter on its own; it was meant to make other cards matter, and the stat line is incidental to the words stapled above it.