Spark Rupture

A hoser aimed at a card type that had spent decades dodging almost everything, delivered in the sideways way white does its best hate. Planeswalkers slip conventional removal because they are not creatures: the reliable answers were attacking them down, bouncing them, or the rare "destroy target planeswalker" effect nobody maindecks. This rewrites the type line itself. Any planeswalker holding loyalty becomes a creature whose power and toughness equal its loyalty count, and loses every ability in the bargain. That second clause is the sharper half. Turning a planeswalker into a creature opens it to combat and creature removal, but stripping its abilities also shuts off the loyalty activations that were the whole reason to cast it, so the walker sits as vanilla stats until it dies or the enchantment leaves. Because planeswalkers arrive with their starting loyalty already on them, the effect bites the moment one hits the battlefield, and it keeps biting for as long as this stays in play. The reach here is total, not one-sided: the oracle text names each planeswalker, so a controller running walkers of their own has to weigh whether the hate is worth kneecapping their own board. The cantrip on entry is the insurance clause, replacing the card and letting it stay down as a hedge against a topdecked bomb when nobody is on walkers yet. Static hate that never touches the stack, converting stored loyalty into a fragile body rather than a value engine.