Segmented Wurm

A 5/5 for five that punishes you for paying attention to it: every spell or ability you aim at it shrinks it by a -1/-1 counter before your effect even resolves. The design logic is anti-buff and anti-interaction in equal measure. Try to pump it with a combat trick and the counter eats most of the bonus; try to give it haste or trample and the body sheds a point for the privilege. The constraint cuts both ways, which is the clever part: your opponent's targeted removal stacks the same counter, so a spot-burn spell that would normally need to reach five only needs to reach four, and a second targeting effect drops it again. The card sits in a small Tempest-era family of creatures built around the then-novel idea that being targeted is itself an event worth tracking on the stack, a precursor to the much later formalization of targeting-matters triggers. The counter is permanent, so the wurm is a depreciating asset from the moment anything looks at it; its ceiling is "vanilla 5/5 nobody ever touches," and the moment that stops being true, it starts dying by degrees. It is a strange, almost contrarian piece of vanilla-adjacent design: a fat body whose only rules text actively discourages the kind of investment a fat body usually invites.