Scrapdiver Serpent

Most evasion keys off the attacker's own characteristics: flying and shadow read off the body itself, the same line of text in every matchup. This serpent reads the table instead, swinging between unstoppable and ordinary based on a board state the caster does not control. The conditional unblockable clause was built for a block where artifacts saturated the battlefield: against a field flooded with them, a 5/5 that connects every turn is a serious clock, but the moment an opponent untaps with nothing artificial in play, the menace vanishes and you are holding a plain seven-mana beater. That swing is the design wager. The cost reflects the gamble: seven mana for a 5/5 is a deliberately soft rate, the kind of number that only makes sense if you expect the evasion to fire reliably, and that expectation rests entirely on your read of the opponent. It is a creature engineered for a metagame rather than a card pool, a piece of color-pie work giving blue a finisher whose threat is contextual rather than innate, and that context-dependence is exactly why it has aged into a curio: outside a board crowded with artifacts, the clause is dead text on an overcosted serpent.