Rustmouth Ogre

Somebody had to be the bruiser that hated metal, and this is that ogre: a fat red body whose entire reason for existing is to walk into a board of equipment, mana rocks, and creatures-that-are-also-artifacts and start cracking them on contact. The design reads flavor-first (a rusting ogre that smashes machinery) and mechanics-second, but the structure is deliberate. The artifact destruction is bolted to combat damage, which means the effect is conditional on the body actually connecting, and a creature this size with no evasion is the kind of attacker that gets chump-blocked or traded off before it ever resolves the trigger. That is the whole tension: the payoff is repeatable artifact removal stapled to a creature, but the price is that you have to push damage through every turn to collect it. Set it against the era's cleaner answers, the cycling artifact-haters and the one-shot Naturalize effects, and you see the trade: those answer an artifact immediately and once, while this promises to answer one per swing forever, provided it keeps swinging. In a metal-heavy era, a creature that eats artifacts whenever it bites had obvious appeal; in practice the combat-damage condition did most of the balancing, and the card sat as a serviceable top-end beater whose removal upside was real but rarely the thing that decided the game.