Ruin Processor

The 7/8 body is the honest half of this design: seven mana buys a beater that survives most combat, blocks the incoming Eldrazi, and holds a board even when the top of its text card finds nothing to do. The cast trigger is the reward stacked on top, and it only does something when an opponent already has a card sitting in exile to bury. That exile pile has to be manufactured first. This is a Processor, the payoff end of a two-part engine: ingest creatures and other exile-milling effects strip cards from an opponent's hand or library into exile, and the Processors then pull those cards down into the graveyard for a bonus. When the front-end work is done, casting this converts a hoarded exile card into a five-life cushion, a swing large enough to stabilize while an eight-toughness clock keeps ticking. When it is absent, the trigger whiffs and passes, leaving an oversized colorless body and nothing else. That conditionality is the whole shape of the card: it is the reward you build toward, the last link in the processing chain rather than the piece that gets the exile pile started. The life gain and the graveyard-filling are real, but both are contingent on somebody having fed an opponent's cards into exile beforehand.