Rot-Tide Gargantua

Feed it a creature on the way in, and every opponent has to give one up too: a symmetrical edict wrapped around an already-attractive 5/4 for five, where the symmetry is a fiction that favors you at both ends. You control the exploit trigger and choose the fodder, so you spend something you were happy to lose (a token, a spent utility body, a creature already marked for death), while each opponent sacrifices afterward, on their own terms, shedding their least valuable body. Against a single opponent it is a two-for-one that also swings; across a wider board, the edict multiplies. The exploit clause is optional, so with nothing worth feeding it, the card simply arrives as a beater and waits. Edict effects have long been black's answer to hexproof and singular threats, sidestepping targeting restrictions by making the defender choose. Pairing one with a recurring, re-triggerable body is the wrinkle: any blink or reanimation re-arms the exploit, so a single removal spell becomes an attrition tax you can levy again every time the Gargantua re-enters. That distinguishes it from the rest of the exploit line, which mostly converts the sacrifice into a private value spell (draw a card, drain some life, kill one thing). Here the sacrifice is aimed outward, turning your own board maintenance into everyone else's problem.