Rage Thrower

A pinger that fires not on your action but on the board's attrition: every other creature death, yours or theirs, channels two damage at a player or planeswalker. The design inverts the usual aristocrat payoff. Cards like Blood Artist tax the table by trading life for life, slow drain across a long game. This one skips the bookkeeping and aims straight at the dome, which turns a clogged board state into a clock that you barely have to steer. The friction is in the body and the cost: a 4/2 for six mana dies to almost anything, and its own death never triggers the ability, since it reads "another creature." The card wants a board already primed to crumble, a swarm to throw under buses, removal that sweeps both sides, or simply a stalled ground war where chump blocks happen anyway. Note the wording: it counts deaths, however they happen, so any combat exchange, any wrath, any edict feeds it equally. The reach is real once the engine is humming, but the engine is the whole ask. Left alone on an empty board it is a fragile creature with a dead trigger, and most opponents will spend the cheap removal they were holding to make sure it stays that way before the dying ever starts.