Plundering Barbarian

Red's take on the artifact-removal spell that never rots. Naturalize-style effects and their red cousins have always been dead weight in the games that don't call for them, because a destroy-target-artifact stapled to nothing is a blank when the board is clean. Splitting the effect into two modes fixes that: Smash the Chest destroys an artifact when there's one worth destroying, and Pry It Open makes a Treasure when there isn't, greasing a splash or nudging you toward your next spell. Neither mode is generous. The 2/2 is a wall of nothing, the Treasure is a single burst, and the destruction is gated behind casting a creature the first time around. What the split buys is guaranteed relevance: this dwarf always has a job on arrival, and that reliability is the trade it makes for raw rate. Because the choice fires whenever the body lands, the destruction becomes reusable currency for anything that flickers or reanimates it, and in a graveyard-minded red build the Treasure feeds a sacrifice outlet as readily as it fixes color. This is the old tradition of creatures that smuggle a spell in on legs, buying insurance against the dead draw at the cost of efficiency on both halves.