Phantasmal Bear

A 2/2 for a single blue mana is a body that should not exist, and the self-sacrifice clause is the joke that explains why it does. Most oversized or evasive creatures pay their tax up front in mana or in a downside you can route around; this one hands the opponent a free out instead. Any spell, any ability, anything that so much as points at it sends it to the graveyard, which means a removal spell never has to resolve: the trigger does the killing. Spending a Shock to answer one mana of investment is a real tempo loss for the opponent, but it is still an answer. That fragility reframes how the bear gets used. It is a turn-one beater that exists to demand interaction, fold to whatever interaction shows up, and otherwise trade up in raw stats while nothing touches it. The Illusion type carries this exact contract across its run: Phantasmal Image and the larger Phantasmal Dragon spread the same self-immolating clause across different rates, and the bear is the cleanest statement of the deal: maximum body, minimum cost, a glass jaw. The catch the controller has to remember is that the trigger does not care who owns the spell. Your own Auras, Equipment, and pump effects all target, so the obvious play of buffing your one-drop is the play that kills it. Left untouched, it simply attacks; the moment anyone aims anything at it, friend or foe, it is gone.