Parasitic Impetus

The clever part is who pays for the buff. Handing an opponent's creature +2/+2 and goad turns their board into your weapon: the enchanted creature must attack each combat, and goad steers it toward anyone but you whenever it has a legal target elsewhere, so in a full pod you have effectively conscripted a threat to swing against someone across the table. The life-drain trigger is what makes the deal lopsided. Every attack the goaded creature makes bleeds its controller for two and refills you for two, so the more the aura forces them to swing, the further underwater they go while you climb. The stat boost reads as a gift, but the goad clause guarantees it gets used, and each use taxes the one you gifted it to. This is a black aura built to weaponize an enemy's board rather than shore up your own, trading the cost of enchanting something you do not control for a slow, repeatable political drain. The +2/+2 is not really for the target's benefit; it is insurance that whatever you slap this on hits hard enough to matter when it is forced into the fray, so the trigger lands on a body big enough to trade up. A patient card that turns aggression into attrition, aimed squarely at the multiplayer game where a goaded attacker almost always has somewhere unpleasant to go.