Oblivion Sower

Land theft is a rare enough effect that the ones which do it well tend to define their own category, and this is the cleanest version of the idea: you don't just deny an opponent their lands, you press them into your own service. The cast trigger is the whole strategic pivot. Because it fires on the stack rather than on resolution, it does its work even against a counterspell, and because it exiles the top four cards before you choose, the payoff scales with how land-heavy their library happens to run at that moment. In practice it functions as a ramp spell that outsources the ramp to the enemy: exile four, pull the lands, walk away with a bigger board than you started the turn with. The 5/8 body is the tell that this was built as a colorless finisher first and a value engine second, a wall on defense and a clock on offense that shrugs off most red removal. What keeps it honest is the variance: you might steal three lands off a top-heavy draw or none from a spellslinger's deck, though because it pulls any lands that player owns from exile, prior exile effects can guarantee your minimum yield before the trigger even resolves. It reads less like disruption and more like a colorless answer to the question of how to accelerate without playing your own lands, which is exactly the sort of asymmetry the Eldrazi were designed to embody.