Nim Lasher

Affinity for power without the keyword: this Zombie scales its strength directly to the number of artifacts you control, an aggressive read on the artifact-count theme that defined a whole era of bodies. The 1/1 frame is the honest half of the bargain, a blank with nothing metallic on your side, and getting it online means a board already stacked with equipment, artifact creatures, and cheap colorless permanents. Where Frogmite and Myr Enforcer turned a packed artifact board into a discounted cost, this turned it into raw damage, the beatdown interpretation rather than the tempo one. The wrinkle is timing: because the bonus is a continuous, recalculated effect rather than a triggered count locked in at any point, an artifact dying mid-combat shrinks the lasher on the spot, and a sweeper that catches your artifacts leaves it swinging for one. Its entire output is hostage to a board that stays made of metal, which makes it loud in a dedicated artifact shell and inert anywhere else.