Muraganda Petroglyphs

A static buff that pays out by punishing rules text: the more a creature does, the less this enchantment cares about it. That inverts how anthems usually read. Glorious Anthem and its kin reward you for going wide; this one wants you to go blank, treating an unenchanted, unkeyworded, ability-free body as the optimal unit. What it loves is the truly featureless: a 1/1 vanilla, an animated artifact with nothing printed on it, a token that says only its size and color. The technical wrinkle that makes this more than a flat payoff is the breadth of what "ability" covers: not just activated and triggered abilities, but evergreen keywords and even some characteristic-defining lines that read as abilities. A creature you would not think of as doing anything frequently turns out to do just enough to lose the +2/+2. The subtlety cuts the other way too: a vanilla creature holding an equipment that only adjusts its stats, like Bonesplitter, keeps the bonus, because granting power and toughness is not granting an ability. The card sits in a small family of designs that flip a standard incentive on its head, and it states the vanilla-matters idea as plainly as any of them: the reward is large, but collecting it means building a board that, by modern standards, looks almost antique.