Mogg Jailer

Here is a 2/2 for two that simply refuses to attack into the most basic defensive posture a deck can assemble: any untapped creature with power 2 or less on the other side, and it stays home. The conditional is the joke. The creatures most likely to be holding the ground in exactly the games where you want your Goblins swinging (mana dorks, early blockers, the random 1/1 and 2/2 that clog the board) are the ones that switch this off. It reads like an aggressive two-drop and behaves like one only when the coast is already clear, which is precisely when you needed the least help. The design lineage is the cheap-creature-with-a-handicap school that produced a long run of red and goblin commons given a baseline body and then fenced in by a clause that bites in the exact spot the body was meant to matter. The flavor logic tracks: a jailer who only menaces when nobody is left standing guard. As color-pie reasoning it is also honest about what red gets for free, namely attacking, and what it must pay for, namely attacking through resistance. The restriction does not care about the blocker's toughness or its abilities, only that small untapped power on defense, which makes it weakest against the go-wide boards red most wants to race.