Lumbering Satyr

The granted keyword goes to everyone, not just you, and that symmetry is the whole joke. Forestwalk is an evasion ability that only matters when the defending player controls a Forest, so handing it to "all creatures" means the green deck that runs Forests has just made every attacker in the game unblockable when it swings into you. The 5/4 body is a fair beater on its own, but the ability is a liability dressed as an upside: a Forest-heavy board offers no defense against an attacker who now slips past every blocker you control, since your own lands are the thing turning off your blocks. The card belongs to an old strain of design where keywords were granted globally before the templating settled into "creatures you control," and the result is a creature that punishes the very land base it expects you to be playing. The honest use is to point that liability at someone else: pair it with effects that turn an opponent's lands into Forests so their creatures gain nothing while your unblockable attackers walk in, or run it from a shell whose own green mana comes from non-Forest sources, so the symmetry breaks in your favor. As printed, it is a green creature whose marquee ability works against green, a relic of the period when "all creatures" meant exactly that.