Lumbering Laundry

Face-down mechanics run on information asymmetry: you commit blockers and removal without knowing whether the opposing 2/2 is a bomb sitting on its cost or a bear pretending to be one. This Golem sells the antidote. Two generic mana buys the right to inspect every face-down creature you don't control at will through the end of the turn, quietly resolving the exact question a disguise or morph is supposed to keep open, and it does so before you have to make the decision that matters. That the wrench is stapled to a Disguise creature is the design's private joke: the Laundry can put on the same mask it exists to strip, hiding as a warded 2/2 for and later flipping up to a 4/5 while carrying the tool that spoils everyone else's bluff. The body itself is unremarkable, and the flavor (a lumbering pile of dirty linen) commits fully to the pun. What justifies the card is narrower and sharper than its stats: an otherwise ordinary artifact beater given a specific reason to exist against hidden creatures, where paying to see behind every mask is worth more than anything printed in its power and toughness.