Lich's Mastery
The classic lich fantasy rendered as a single card, and built around a deliberate contradiction: you cannot lose the game, except the moment this enchantment leaves play you lose immediately. That clause turns the whole thing into a glass cannon strapped to your own existence. The hexproof exists to stop opponents from simply removing it and winning; it does nothing against your own deck dismantling itself. Every point of life you spend now exiles a permanent you control, a card in hand, or a card from your graveyard, and the day you run out of things to exile is the day there is nothing left to soak the loss. The life-gain half is the engine that pays for all this: each life gained draws that many cards, so a Lich's player wants enormous swings in both directions, refilling on the gain and surviving the bleed off the same totals.
What makes the design honest is that it converts the most fundamental resource in the game, your life total, into a draw engine that does not protect you from death so much as redefine the bill. You cannot be killed by damage or drain, but you can absolutely run yourself out of permanents and then watch the enchantment die to a single edict or board wipe and take you with it. Notably, the exile clause makes it a poor fit for graveyard synergies, since your life losses feed cards into exile rather than the yard. It hands you near-invulnerability and a self-destruct switch in the same sentence, and asks you to keep both running at once.
