Lead Golem

A vanilla-statline body bolted to a self-tapping drawback, built on the old-school theory that defense should be cheap and offense should cost you. The 3/5 frame is engineered to hold a line, not push one: that fat toughness blocks comfortably against the small creatures of its era and survives most of the damage they can muster. The attack clause is the tax. Every swing benches it for a full turn, so committing to offense means surrendering the very wall the creature was assembled to be. That tension is deliberate. Golems of this vintage tended to carry a built-in penalty to justify a generous body, and the "doesn't untap" rider is among the cleaner ways to express it, leaving the defensive role pristine while making aggression a genuine choice instead of a free one. Two mutually exclusive jobs sit in one body, and each turn forces a pick between them. Set against later artifact creatures that earned their stats through keywords or activated abilities, this belongs to the period when a colorless five-drop justified itself by being hard to kill and slightly awkward to use.