Kitesail Larcenist

Blue rarely gets to answer artifacts and creatures with the same trigger, and this is the tempo-flavored way it does so: not destruction, not exile, but demotion. Every affected permanent becomes a Treasure that taps for mana and does nothing else, which is the whole design conceit. You are not removing a threat, you are transmuting it into a resource its owner can either hold or cash in for a single mana. That distinction is the balancing lever. The effect is a Pacifism-style silence rather than a kill spell (the neutered permanent still sits on the board, still eats a sweeper, still fills a slot for any card counting permanents), and it lasts only as long as this Pirate stays put. Kill it, bounce it, blink it, and the chosen permanents snap back to their real abilities, which is why the ward tax on it reads as protection for the lock more than protection for the body. The multiplayer clause is the quiet reach: it hits every player at once, so at a crowded table it can turn several boards down a notch on a single entry. Because the transformation grants a mana ability, though, it can hand an opponent exactly the ramp they wanted from a mana rock that was already doing the job, a wrinkle that makes the "up to one" phrasing a genuine decision rather than a formality.