Kibo, Uktabi Prince

Group Hug that spends the whole game arming a trap. Every player, opponents included, gets a Banana token each turn Kibo taps, and those tokens read as pure generosity: a mana of red or green plus two life apiece. What everyone accepts as free candy turns out to be the ammunition for the other two clauses. When an artifact an opponent controls hits the graveyard, every Ape and Monkey you control grows; and every attack forces the defending player to sacrifice an artifact of their choice, Bananas very much included. So the gift you hand across the table becomes the fodder Kibo strips away in combat, and each stripped artifact crests your board a little higher. Note the asymmetry the counters run on: only opponents' artifacts feed the growth, so cracking your own Bananas for mana and life costs you nothing on that axis while their tokens are the ones you want dying. It leans on the old Uktabi Orangutan flavor line for the Monkey-and-artifact-destruction pairing, but where that was a one-shot Naturalize on a body, this recurs, taxing the whole table for touching the free resource. The 2/2 frame matters less than the loop it enables: a wide board of small Apes and Monkeys that all swell at once the moment the artifacts start falling, on a clock you get to schedule.