Kalemne's Captain

Most creatures with monstrosity from that mechanic's run paid out in raw stats or a contained, on-curve effect. This one bolts a board-altering sweep onto the trigger: the instant it becomes monstrous, every artifact and enchantment exits the game, the captain's own permanents and everyone else's alike. The design is built to be banked, not fired on tempo. Activation runs seven mana and resolves only once per creature, so the sweep is a single-use lever you hold until the noncreature permanents on the table are worth detonating. The wipe is fully symmetrical: your own Signets, your own enchantments, all of it goes too, which makes the 5/5 vigilant body the point rather than a bonus. Because the sweep keys off the creature becoming monstrous rather than off any specific spell, anything that reduces the cost of activated abilities makes the reset cheaper, though the only path to it remains the captain's own activation. What survives is the tell: creatures walk away untouched, so a shell light on artifacts and enchantments comes out ahead while opponents leaning on rocks, ramp, and value enchantments do not. It strips exactly the permanent types white has always policed best, then hands the game back to combat, where a vigilant Giant Soldier is content to attack and block on the same turn.