Greensleeves, Maro-Sorcerer
The name is the joke: "Maro-Sorcerer" tips its hat to Mark Rosewater, whose namesake card Maro first bound a creature's power and toughness to a resource you accumulate rather than a printed number. Here the resource is lands, and the design compounds the old idea rather than just quoting it. Every land you drop swells the body and manufactures a 3/3 green Badger in the same beat, so a single landfall event both grows the creature and stands a blocker beside it. The protection line is where the flavor turns literal on top of the mechanic: protection from Wizards makes the coven-of-Wizards conceit into rules text, while protection from planeswalkers means the loyalty abilities that would normally chip down a fat green creature cannot target it at all. Strip away the pun and there is a coherent landfall engine underneath: load the deck with additional land drops and the whole package scales, since each land both raises the P/T and prints a token. The governor is that everything is conditioned on lands actually entering. Stall on land drops and the body freezes at whatever count you have banked while the Badger faucet runs dry, which pushes the build toward fetchable extra plays rather than a topdeck plan. Read once for the Rosewater gag; read again and the build-around holds up on its own terms.
