Goblin Psychopath

Five power for four mana is a body that demands a downside, and the one here is among the most punishing red ever printed: half the time you swing or block, the damage it would deal lands on your face instead. The coin flip is not a one-time cost paid on the way in; it fires on every attack and every block, so the longer this lives, the more often variance gets to choose your life total over theirs. A 5/5 that can deal you five whenever it commits to combat is closer to a liability you happen to control than an asset, and that inversion is the joke the design is built around. This belongs to red's long tradition of high-stat creatures sold at a discount that no rational pilot wants to pay: the rate is real, but the card only does its job when the coin cooperates, and over a game of multiple flips it reliably will not. The cleanest use was never to attack with it at all but to weaponize the flip itself, redirecting that damage through effects that punish coin tosses or hand the creature to an opponent so the blocking flips work against them. Left to swing honestly, it is a creature whose own combat is the most dangerous thing on the board, and the danger is pointed the wrong way.