Goblin Diplomats

Forcing every creature to attack is a symmetrical effect built for an asymmetrical purpose: the pilot is meant to have already assembled a board that wants to swing, while the opponent gets dragged out of the defensive crouch that keeps their creatures back as blockers. This reworks the old Falter template into something repeatable. A one-shot "creatures can't block" spell ends a game in a single turn; a tap ability instead lets the pilot peel away the opponent's guards turn after turn, marching them into bad attacks where your untapped creatures wait to trade up. The timing wrinkle is where the symmetry breaks in your favor: activate on the opponent's turn before their combat, and only their creatures are forced forward, because yours cannot attack on a turn that isn't yours. That is the intended line, and it turns a two-sided effect into a one-sided lever. The cost is trusting your own board. On a stalled table where the opponent holds the better creatures and it is your turn, activating the ability marches your own blockers into the red zone with no way to exclude them, so you simply leave it untapped. The frail 2/1 body confirms the posture: this is a finisher for a deck already ahead, not a tool for coaxing a grinder into favorable math. A red goblin design that hands you a race-ending switch and assumes you are the one already winning the race.